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Good evening every one this is your beloved Professor Smeeth. Today I'm gonna share some knowledge about a hero. Besides superheroes that we we already know like Spider man, Iron man, Superman, there is another kind of hero among us -Keyboard man. Oh sorry they are “man”, I'll give you “Key board Goblin”. Cos you know, Goblins are a bunch of vicious little Jackasses, whose only abilityis to shoot in darkness.
晚上好！我是大家喜欢的斯密教授！今天我就来跟大家分享下一个英雄的故事。除了大家耳熟能详的超级英雄比如蜘蛛侠啊啊，超人啊，钢铁侠，我们之中也隐藏着另外一种英雄：键盘侠。额，对不起，应该叫键盘精。你懂的，“精”么，妖精都是一帮阴险恶毒，暗中伤人的小玩意儿嘛。

Keyboardgoblins aka. haters like to attack someone they don't even know by saying meanwords. Where can you find them? It's easy: in every comment section in everysocial community, Weibo, Zhihu, Internet forums, and here. Their job is todeliver hurting feelings to anyone who shares their articles, their videos, and even their opinions on line. But why? Because in real life, they are a bunch of cowards, losers, someone who sucks in almost everything, and dare not to say no, so they hide behind screens and use key boards as weapons to judge what other people say or what other people do without even understand what's going on. Have you heard about that little girl who committed suicide because shecan't live a life where everyone on the Internet is saying she is the ugliest creature they've seen? She died from Internet violence delivered by a bunch of Jackass Keyboard sons of bitches. How can they get away with this? Because no one knows who they really are on the Internet.
键盘精又叫“喷子”，他们喜欢对他们自己都没见过的人恶语中伤，在哪能找到他们呢？这个简单，微博，知乎，网络论坛上，甚至这里时常能看到他们的身影。他们的任务就是对任何在网上发布文章，视频或者是表达想法的人输出伤害（哈哈对我这么干的人倒是没有很多，谢不杀之恩！）。为什么呢？因为在现实生活中，这帮人一般都是一群懦夫，失败的人，做什么几乎都做不好的人，现实生活中连“不”都不敢说出口，所以他们只能躲在屏幕后面，用键盘做武器，没弄清楚情况前就妄自菲薄评头论足。大家听说过那个小女孩因看网上这般喷子的辱骂骚扰而自杀的故事么？那些人骂她是他们见过最丑的生物。小女孩自杀了，就是因为这帮龟孙子输出的网络暴力，他们之所以可以肆意妄为不负责任仅仅是因为在网上，没人知道他们的真实身份。

There are generally two types of keyboard goblins, one is called Lurkers, and some of them are not even aware that they are already infected. They comment mean words, but they think they are helping people by “giving advises”. Nosweetheart, you are not. You are pretending to be better at something by giving“opinions” or by pointing out the mistake or what you think is a mistake, but in fact you are only showing off your superiority by hurting feelings. But how can you tell when they do that, professor? Simple, their vicious comment isonly based on the interpretation out of a context, and pretend to be a know-it- all, when you say something back, they would pretend to be the victim. You know why there are so many students who are still so afraid to post their Spoken English online and speak in public? It's because of you motherfuckers! No matter how hard those poor students try, you little haters can always get topick bones! You think your English is better? Well maybe, at least they try! How about you show them how you speak like a native Speaker? But I know in most cases haters themselves speak worse English, they just like to feel superior by“Well, Giving Advise” You've been abroad, wow good for you ,well I haven't, but I still speak better English than you and I don't talk shit! You started it! You sound pretty kick-ass, but why haven't I heard anything about you? And who the fuck are you anyway?
总的来说有两种“键盘精”，第一种叫做“潜伏者”，有些人都不知道自己其实也是“潜伏者”，他们的评论言语恶毒，但是他们自己却觉得他们是在给别人提出“宝贵建议”。亲爱的，完全错误！这类人做的其实是用“提建议”“指出问题（或者他们觉得的问题）”的幌子来显示自己有多厉害，事实上，你是用伤害别人来获取优越感而已。如何分辨出这类人呢，很简单，一般他们恶毒的评论仅仅是建立在断章取义与臆想出的论点上的，而且总是要给人营造一种“大神在此”的错觉，当你回击他，他却装作受害者（这我还是真遇到过的）。大家知道很多学英语的朋友到现在都不敢在网上公开上传自己说外语的录音，或者是在公众面前说英语么？就是因为你们这帮王八 蛋！！！（其实我小时候也是这种王八蛋，但是长大以后就没干过这事了）不管人家怎么努力，总是有这些人在挑点刺出来。我想对这些人说：你觉得你英语很厉害？人家至少在努力尝试呀！要不你也来展示下自己地道的英语咯？其实我也知道大多数这种挑刺的键盘精英语其实都更烂，仅仅就是“提提意见”找点优越感而已，但是却伤害别人。哇塞你出过国，好厉害哟，我都没有出过国，但是我英语也比你好，而且我还不BB（此处淡定脸）！你这么厉害，我怎么听都没听过你的大名呢？对了你特么到底是谁呀？谁让你先撩事！

The other kind of keyboard goblin is called the Destroyers, frankly, I like them alittle better than the first one. Because as soon as they talk you know what they are. The things they say are really simple, no standard, no “advise”, no debate, no information at all, that you don't even need to compute, and supersingly it's always the same cliche. Their intellectual level is at the minimum level of all human race, because they move in horde and they imitatethe same mean statement right after their destroyer captain - someone who saidfirst. They are simple folks, they just want you to know that they don't likewhat you said or what you did or what your choices are or.... well to put it in one word they don't just don't like you. My advise, take it easy, they are notable to make a real damage.
另外一种“键盘精”叫做“毁灭者”，坦白地说，我更讨厌第一种。第二种他一开口你就知道他就是个喷子而已，因为他们喷的内容都很简单，没有“建议”，没有你来我往的争辩，没有有用信息的传达，句子简单到你都不需要去想想他说的是不是正确。令人吃惊的是，他们骂的内容是惊人的一致，都是流行十几年的国骂。这类人的智力水品在人类中垫底，因为他们只会人云亦云，只会模仿他们“毁灭者队长”-就是第一个开骂的人重复一些简单的陈述句而已。这类人头脑简单，他们就是告诉你，“我不喜欢你说的做的选的。。。额，反正我就是不喜欢你这个人。”我的建议是，随他们去吧，他们连骂人都不会骂。


You know why I changed my mind about calling them keyborad man? Cause they are not human being. They fucking hate everything and everyone including themselves! You give them free material, they think you are tricking them because every valuable thing should have a price, you charge them for something they say you are not helping people and you only do this for money, when they become rich someday, they would claim every poor soul struggles in poverty deserves to diebe cause they have become the burden of our nation, since when do you care about the environment of our nation? What did you do except reducing the world and committing violence on the Internet anyway?
想知道为什么老夫突然不想叫他们“键盘侠”了么？因为他们不能算侠，他们连人都不算，因为他们对什么事都恶意满满，什么人都恨，包括他们自己。当你提供免费材料给他们，他们说，你在坑蒙拐骗，因为任何有价值的食物都要花钱买（目前遇到一两个人这样说我我也是醉）；你让他们付费，他们说你做这个太商业了就是为了钱，不是想造福大伙（目前遇到一两个人这样说我我也是醉），当他们某一天有了钱，他们还会说穷人都该死，拉低了整个国家的收入是负担（这话我真的是看到了不止一两次）。。。。这帮人啥时候开始为国家着想了说是。。。请问你们这帮人除了以一概全断章取义还做了什么？？


Maybe you think it's a waste of time to talk back, but I believe otherwise. Actually everyone got a say in this! Every man has the right to defend themselves from Internet violence, come on at least try it once or twice! Professor Smeeth here today is going to teach you how to reply to mean comments online. It's very simple, two words, Jibber-Jabber. Let's try it one more time, Jibber- Jabber! Please pay attention to the the short I sound in Jibber, please make a difference form long i: sound, and the æ sound occurs in Jabber, which requires you to open your mouth pretty big. æ. Jibber-Jabber. It means I don't know what you are talking about but I know it's gibberish. It's a noun and you can do it like this: “Hey I think what you did sucks.” And you are like “Yeah yeah Jibber-Jabber.” It has the same function as “Hey I think what you did sucks”. And you are like “Yeah yeah Blah blah blah.” The intonation is also very important, you go flat at the first word and then go down at Jabber.
也许各位觉得回复那些喷子的评论是浪费时间，但是教授我到不这么认为。年轻气盛吗哈哈哈。每个人都表达自己的权利，为自己辩护的权利（试个一两次嘛哈哈），保护自己不受网络暴力的迫害。今天斯密在这里教大家一句很简单地表达来回复所有喷子的评论，就两个单词：Jibber Jabber。注意短i跟梅花音都是怎么发的，更关键的是语音语调。第一个的单词用平调第二个用降调（表示嘲讽不屑）。这句表达是名词短语，意思就是：“都是废话不知道你说个什么东东”的意思。下次就用这个万能句型照脸甩过去就好了哈哈哈。

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Smeeth over and out.